The Change in Christmas

Dec 25, 2016

Life on December 25, 2016 was a tad bit different from today. I was at office, wandering in the cafeteria, posing beside the plump snowman, being happy about the weekend compensation that my company would pay me for working on a Sunday. The thing is, I had taken up the shift on Dec 25, because, apparently, I had nothing to do. And, who'd mind some extra bucks. Life, as you would say, was yet to take its turn. I'm sure the thing/being called 'life' had a smirk on its face when it saw me take up the shift and not go enjoy with friends, or on a trip. After all, what was it? Nothing much, right? Just a mere Sunday, which also happens to be Christmas. But it's just a day. So, yeah, I did care more about the expenses than celebrating the day. After office, my teammate dropped me at the Church on Bannerghatta Road. I sat on the last bench for almost 2 hours, said my prayers that my school had taught me almost 19 years back, pondering over haphazard thoughts, observing the people who came to visit the Church, kids playing in the hall, couples photographing each other and themselves. At around 8 in the evening, I went to the nearby Meenakshi mall to treat myself to something nice. The place was filled with lights, happy people and some jingle-y music. I bought some household stuff, had a paneer dhokla from 'Anand Sweets', just opposite to the mall and came back home, considering it to be a not-so-bad Christmas celebration. 

Cut to December 25, 2017. The day has not been very useful in its sense. I just completed reviewing my resume to apply for internships. And I'll be preparing a dessert. Apart from this, today is just the same as any other day. And in the process of introspection of my life in the last year, I realised, there's a huge transformation. I've lost a part of my soul with the loss of a dear one. I was accepted into a top school for a higher degree (read, suicide!) in Finance. I resigned from office almost six months back, giving up the extra bucks I could've made. I'm a half world away from where I was, living ten and a half hours behind home, haven't visited a church or treated myself to anything special (I know there's dessert, but that's different!!).
I am living a life with limited resources with the hope of making a better (read, prosper-er!) future. Do I repent taking these decisions? No, I don't. Do I wish to travel back in time and make some changes? Yes, I do! The thought that I cannot make any changes to the past makes me think about a lot of other things.

Online Wedding 2

Am I doing anything now, that I might want to change when I take a look back on this day next year? Well, standing on this day, I don't think so. I am happy with the decisions that I have been taking lately. I have missed out on some of my best friends' marriages, baking the Christmas cake for my family, going out on a solo trip, buying something for myself and some other things, maybe.

Online wedding 1

But, what I have gained are some friends on the way who do take care of me, treat me as their own, love me and behave with me the same way they have always behaved. My friend who discusses her happiness and sadness with me without thinking twice. My friend who called me from his wedding mandap and another friend who called me right after her wedding and I couldn't help but remember our first friendship days (more than 8 years back). Well, that's life. You lose some, you gain a lot and a hope for a happier tomorrow drives you to do better each and everyday.